Vic Reeves Big Night Out Series 1 Show 3
Tonight's show begins with the by now standard greeting from Patrick Allen. Ladies and Gentlemen please loosen your jewellery and welcome Britain's top light entertainer and singer...
In comes Vic, on the back of a motorbike, ridden by Bob dressed as Captain Birdseye. In the style of Morrisey, Vic sings a tune of Morrisey, Sheila Take A Bow.
And then, in a very poor New York accent, Vic thanks Captain Boydseye explaining that he had just come down from Penzance. As an aside, he thanks the good captain "for helping us press gang them children for next week's voyage."
"I told you not to mention that... You wouldn't let it lie! etc"
Birdseye then rides off and crashes.
By now Vic has assumed his position behind his desk, "You would not believe what's going on back stage. Nicholas Witchell is there with a barrage balloon strapped on, trying to convince termites he's their queen." Which planet? Why, Planet Vic and Bob.
On comes Les and there's been an incident. Les has a poorly arm... a road traffic accident? Notwithstanding, Vic launches into some Les facts. Recently been run over in motor inc with Cpn Birdseye. Voodoo doll of Les.
Oh look, it's the Man With The Stick! Vic inquires, "are you gonna reveal what's on the end of the stick?" To which, Man With The Stick shakes his head...
"Come and join me... Let's have a look what's on your helmet. Keith Michelle with his foot in a grow bag for good luck. A typo? Wing Cdr Graham Short banging, not bagging, a pheasant! On the back Milli Vanilli are trying to create negative gravity in their tights."
Man With The Stick has been investigating fish and underwater life this week. Vic is amazed at how they survive underwater... You can't breath! Man With The Stick has no concept of water... Bonkers discussion. Do fish shed their skin in the winter to become snakes? I believe that to be true...runs off...
Next up it's the infamous Novelty Island. Today's first act is Judith Grant (played, of course, by Emma Cafferty) with Noodles the mole who runs up a drainpipe and waves... Or not. Bob voices Noodles, complaining bitterly about Judith. To whit, he refuses to come out and wave. Vic puts his hand in... Noodles bites... Vic, have you had your haircut? Yes I have but it's not what I asked for... Very poor!
Then Lister, document burner! He says that he got idea for this act when he burnt the Hitler diaries... First up is a CSE certificate belonging to boxer Lloyd Honeygan, then Alan Whicker's one year passport and Vic's holiday plane tickets. Of course the prize was won by Judith and Noodles.
Advert break now, followed by Action Image Exchange... Police custody... Came to terms with sexuality... discussion on what sort of breasts they prefer.. Masks of Sean Connery a pair of women's underwear and a milk? carton. No, talc.
Another question re haircut... Things you can do with denim. Falls off chair.
Noise/gesture with prof bill peacock.
The final item features three contestants, chosen from the audience! Their task? To come up with an expression to convert a noise to gesture. Zoe student. Pelicans under flapping flapper sack. Pipette - Enos residue... Vic very taken with Zoe! Oh Mr songwriter to credits... With noise / gesture... The Man With Stick reveals pills on wire...
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